about me
xiAo y0u`a|UM!NIUM
280291
dhs`ex-taonanite
band -basses
guitar ensemble
string bass`piano
Monday, October 05, 2009
12:55 AM
scared scared scared.
not referring to the prelims, though yes, am also quite worried about that.
unknowns in life are freaky.
what if...?
=((((((
i need d.
like an enchanted tale.
Friday, October 02, 2009
7:15 PM
Basically, the past four days since prelim ended on Tues went like this:
Tuesday - Watched the movie "9" with my bro. Waited for bro for two hours plus, and movie was a bit lame, and I was rather tired after everything. But it's ok, cause I really haven't been out with my bro for a long, long time! (excluding the weekend family dinners outside, hehe)
Wednesday - Kbox from 2-7pm! Haven't sang this much in a long time!!! Super funnn, even though we don't have common songs that all of us like, but we got to understand each other's tastes in songs! Rather tiring, but I don't mind another Kbox session like this- very shuang! super looking forward to after A levels! :D
Thursday - Pool! :D Something I'm really amateurish in, but nevertheless it caught my interest. Pretty sure I'm gonna play more pool after A levels too! Hope there'll be people asking me out for pool.. and thanks for teaching me pool! (:
Friday - Cycling from East Coast (marine parade) to Changi Village. I haven't gone this far before on a bicycle.. sense of accomplishment? Hehe. Had a great time catching up (on the bike, too, haha I can never seem to ride as fast =P)! Jiayouuuuu(: We shall go Pulau Ubin like two months later to cycle and perhaps have a picnic? :D
There are side effects from all the fun though. On Wednesday while I was walking towards the bus stop from my house, I thought, "maybe I should run in case the bus comes and I'd be late". One second later, I was horrified watching my bus zoom past. I don't know what came over me but I ran even though I sort of knew I wouldn't be able to catch it, and I even ran to the next bus stop, just that I didn't know it was SO far. It was one of those rare days when I wasn't wearing my running shoes. Suay. Ok so I was late, as expected. By the time I reached home that night I realised there was this blister on my big toes! So I couldn't possible wear the same shoes the next day. Bleaghhhhh. Apart from sports shoes nearly every other types shoes hurt my feet. Even slippers sometimes! There'd be this red line cutting across my feet.
After pool on Thursday, I was amazed when I realised my right arm was aching. I didn't even remember what could have caused it at first, but my left arm wasn't hurting, so it had to be pool. Bleaghhhh. I don't understand how pool can cause aches. I guess it's cause I haven't been to the gym during prelims. But it's ok I'm resuming this weekend! (I hope)
Today (Friday) by far has the worst side effects - SUNBURN! One of the most hateful things that can happen to me. I forgot about what the sun can do at me when I decided to meet at 12:30pm and started cycling at 1:30pm. Cycling at the time is madness... And I didn't know how burnt I was. Until I got home and glanced into the mirror. Oh my. I look like a lobster. The worst part is, when I bathed with hot water, my face, my arms, my thighs hurt real badly. There's this raw feeling, and the feeling like you've been scald. Ouch. Now I'm covered with calamine lotion. Hahaa I hope it goes away by really soon, like tomorrow or something.
Oh yes, before I go, my fav song:
心有林夕
作詞: 藍小邪
作曲: 鄭楠
把燦爛的笑 留給鏡頭記錄
完美的讓所有人忌妒
把悲傷的歌 麥克風加速
淘氣的讓人忘了孤獨
還沒落幕 已經都麻木
快樂要展示到什麼地步
多想有個林夕 躲在心中描述
感情的起伏和不想掩飾的痛苦
感謝有個林夕 在心中陪我哭
閃光燈亮時我的笑容
才能讓旁觀者滿足
不可以疲倦 也不能夠認輸
誰又想讓所有人佩服
牽手或放手 總有標準態度
來讓別人羨慕或祝福
還沒開始 已經想謝幕
樂觀要表演到什麼分數
多想有個林夕 躲在心中描述
感情的起伏和不想掩飾的痛苦
感謝有個林夕 在心中陪我哭
閃光燈亮時我的笑容
才能讓旁觀者滿足
多想有個林夕 躲在心中描述
感情的起伏和不想掩飾的痛苦
感謝有個林夕 在心中陪我哭
閃光燈亮時我的笑容
才能讓旁觀者滿足
閃光燈亮時我的笑容
能不能讓自己滿足
p.s. stop nagging pls. i'm not a machine. i can't work non-stop. ):
like an enchanted tale.
9:15 AM
I had a good dream last night though. Subconsciousness came into play, perhaps. Haha I dreamt that we were having some kind of basses chalet. We were in some room then there were only a few of us cause everyone else hadn't arrived yet.. then somehow the scene changed (I didn't notice that while I was in my dream though). From being inside a room which seems to be like some big hotel room (although it's supposedly a chalet), we were suddenly at my house's garden, I think we were playing games??? And then suddenly I spotted my piano teacher and tried to hide. A bit weird for him to be appearing in my dream. I guess I kinda miss playing the piano. I still don't understand how the "chalet" ended up at my house though.
Lol maybe I kinda miss basses outings.
Why did I have to know it now?
like an enchanted tale.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
11:30 AM
Sometimes when I browse through friends' blogs I just get pretty amazed by the similarity in our beliefs, which is quite a good thing I guess. It's always a relief to know that you are not alone in what you believe, and in the problems that you face. One of the worst feelings to have in life is to feel alone. Why do we find friends who have the same likes and dislikes as us, share a similar sense of humour or have similar beliefs? Why is it that when some people die, they choose to die together with their loved ones? Because they want to be together in the other world (if there really is such a world), or they cannot bear living on without the other person.
There are some people who seek death as an escape to their problems. Recent financial woes have seen many people who viewed death as their only choice. They felt alone when they lose their homes and jobs and could not support their family, especially when they could be the sole breadwinner of their family. Why are support groups continually being set up for the disabled, the single parent, or drug addict? Because people would be put at greater ease knowing they are not the only one facing the problem.
Society has set standards for what is "normal" or acceptable, such that people who deviate from these standards often face problems in their going about their lives. It could be a minor difference such as in a personal habit that does not overly affect daily interactions with other people. One could be, perhaps, the habit of biting nails (it's the first thing that came to my mind at this moment). If you aren't biting your nails every minute and every second, most people probably wouldn't notice this nasty little habit of yours unless they know you pretty well. What about a more noticeable problem then? For instance if you were born with a deformed face, maybe your nose is tilted and you have one eye a lot smaller than the other. First impressions count, and appearances definitely matter in our present society. Either you eliminate this difference between you and your fellow humans, alleviate it such that it is no longer noticeable, or you live with it and accept the weird stares and shunning from your more-normal counterparts.
When one is constantly on the receiving end of weird stares, stereotyped as an abnormal person, it is easy to fall into despair. You could be a 100% human being, but because of your so-called abnormal traits, your social life, and life in general, has changed, and usually for the worse. It is then inevitable for loneliness and hopelessness to set in. Correcting your difference/"abnormality" seems like the most obvious thing to do. However, it is not always easy, or possible. If you have a physical "deformity" (why does it have to be called "deformity" anyway?) and have the money, you can be thankful for the advancement in plastic surgery that can make you the normal person, by standards of society. But what if you don't have the money for plastic surgery? Or if there were too many risks involved? Or if your "abnormality" lies in your beliefs or in your biology, like if you were a homosexual? Beliefs cannot be easily changed, because they are the mark of one's personal identity. Neither can biological difference be altered that easily. Yet many "normal" people make no effort to see the intrinsic value in another fellow human being who appears different. Because normal people supposedly make up the majority of the human population, they think it is okay to dismiss the rights and value of the minority- "it's their problem." Or so they think.
All human beings are different. ("Variation exists in a population"-think Darwin's theory of evolution)It's what that makes each of us unique. The differences each of us possess serves as the marker for our identity (a physical selectable marker? reminds me of stuff like "blue-white screening"- think bio again, lol.) This implies that everyone has differences to variable extents. Why should we, then, put up distinct benchmarks for what is normal and what is not, and be judgemental in doing so? It is pointless. If you belong to the majority of the population in one country, you could belong to the minority in another. Why not be a little more gracious to accept the differences in people around you, be it a small difference or a huge one that stares in your face the whole time you interact with them? It is no doubt not easy to shelf aside personal prejudices, but there is all the good in trying to make people around you feel accepted. Treat them just like how you'd want to be treated. See value in them for their uniqueness and they'd see value in yours, too. In this way, there would definitely be less feelings of loneliness, and more warmth to spread around in our society.
*
On a random note, I really think that, for anyone and everyone, we should not be too hard on ourselves when we don't meet expectations, whether it's your own, or others. It's more important to be doing your best and striving to improve.
For instance, in studies, we know we need all the As to get into our ideal university course. What if you have tried really hard but only to obtain an E in a subject? Disapppointed, no doubt, but never give up. Even if at the end of it all, it is still an E, or D, it is the fruit of your labour and you should be proud to have worked hard for it, regardless of the result. There is always some place for you to go, even if it weren't your "ideal" university course. And the un-ideal could become your true ideal, for all you know.
In the aspect of character, everyone has their own flaws. You could have 1001 flaws, you could have done many wrongs, but what is more important is to correct them. Perhaps you have taken years to correct your flaws, and end up with 1000 flaws instead of 1001. Again, you are disappointed, but at least, take pride in moving forward and in improving. And if you discover more flaws in your character? Feel relieved that you discover it now, rather than later, and because you can start working to correct it immediately. (:
Don't beat yourself up too quickly! (Something I admit I'm guilty of.)
Jiayou for the final lap.
like an enchanted tale.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
12:25 PM
i can't really say if i feel better because i have finally got some idea of what it is about, or whether i feel worse because of the options left.
whatever it is, i guess i just have to remain as optimistic as possible.
like an enchanted tale.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
1:11 AM
I didn't know the night could be this beautiful right outside my house. The neighbourhood was silent. The sky was dark, save for the street lamp - the only source of light. What a rare feeling of serenity, when there's almost no one home. If only there was a light breeze to go with, and perhaps a couple of stars too?
没有星星的夜晚， 是因为星星在我心里。
夜晚是漆黑寒冷的，心里却是隐藏着温暖和光芒。
like an enchanted tale.
Monday, September 07, 2009
9:20 PM
Just printed out all the maths solutions from DHS mail and cleared my mail too. There's probably less than 10 mail in my DHS mail now. YAY.
*Sense of accomplishment*
On another note, the second last GP paper for us is over. Just got reminded by exactly how much, or how little time we have left. I just cannot imagine how I'd be feeling if tomorrow were A levels. The thought unsettles me. I think it's a lack of confidence + fear of how that one month could affect my future. But then after that I just thought, perhaps, when you see a purpose in what you are doing, when you understand ultimately why you are doing all these, your fear will be diminished.
Work hard because you want to do well, not because you fear failure.
Anyway, was just searching for 4E contact list among my pile of school stuff.. coincidentally came across my sec 1 chinese compo and read it. I even remembered writing it.. Hmm. I started reading my sec 2 autograph book, and an old xmas card I received in lower sec. A little nostalgic about relationships.. how some feelings become diluted, how some people just disappear out of your life unknowingly, and you know that they are still around but they will never write like that to you, say those things to you, or do any of those things for you again.
Some things are always prettier left as memories.
Appreciate the present instead? Not the time to be nostalgic anyway.. haha.
Okay I think I just ate up quite a lot of my mugging time. Jiayou to you all out there.. you are not alone. (:
like an enchanted tale.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
7:30 PM
I came online at the right time! Haha.
Don't think I'll have the time to blog very much anymore, though I see blogging as something rather essential for me to clear my thoughts and relieve stress.
Let's talk about the National Day weekend!
Hahaha. The happiest long weekend I've had for a reaaally long time. On Friday there was a short national day celebration in school. Short and sweet, I would think, and senior high people went to different workshops. Most of my class people and I went to the talk "PriMadonna" by Mr Tan and it turned out to be really good, especially for somebody like me who never really knew anything about Madonna. I suddenly felt that she's kinda.. domineering? Anyway after the talk I went to Cineleisure to have lunch and watch Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince with my twinie! :D:D:D Haven't felt so relaxed in a long time.. like an afternoon of liberation(: Had some stir-fried fish for lunch at this western restaurant.. hmm I forgot the name already hehe xD
Thanks for the great day out! (:
Then Saturday... I forgot what I did.. lazed around a little bit, went out for lunch and dinner as usual.. it's a family bonding kinda thing. Heh.
On Sunday my brother and I went to watch the National Day Parade! The REAL one not the one of tv! Lol I was quite looking forward to it because the only time I've been to the National Day Parade was the NDP rehearsal back in primary 5, and somehow I couldn't remember any of the details of that, except for that we did some dance thing. Haha. The NDP goodie bag is nice! I mean the bag itself, though we thought it looked like some fake crumpler bag hehe. They gave us this "drum" and the drumstick is this mr bean figurine at the end of a plastic stick.. uber cute! :)) Then there's this heartshaped "torchlight/lightstick" that could give out blue and red light. Maybe you all would have seen on tv.. the lights are really nice when we look at the crowd from afar at night!
The parade was quite cool.. I like the redlions... Wish I have the guts to do something like jumping out of the helicopter! And the marching was neat.. always thought the person who got to shout the commands were very seh. I liked the performances on the different instruments too.. like on the cello and the pipa or something.. wish I have an instru that I can say I'm super good in.. lol. Anyway love the light effects too.. there were many people dancing in many gigantic grids/boxes in the wall.. how do I describe it.. hmm. Haha. Oh and I felt kinda patriotic when I sang the national anthem! It's a very different feeling singing it there and listening to it at home like I always do for the past years.
I couldn't stand the crowd though! Marina square was literally FLOODED with people. It reminded me of the ye4 shi4 in taiwan! haha. Went for a light supper at Gloria Jeans' with my bro. Was super tired when I reached home!
Monday was another family day! Lunch at subway, went home to do some work, then went out to East Coast Beach with my family in the evening. Super cooling weather! And we had satay :D Then we went to sit on the rocks or whatever you call them near the sea and felt the strong wind blowing at us.
Suddenly I didn't feel like this anxious student there and then. Haha.
Alright. There's tons of work to do after dinner.. need to keep motivating myself, and keep reminding myself of what I am studying for.
Oh and happy belated national day!
Loveeeed the long weekend, really(:
like an enchanted tale.
